Photo Heart Connection-December - January

I tried to get organised yesterday and thought a lot about what I was going to Blog about. It was exciting to find a another opportunity to take a closer look at some of my photographs. I had seen this idea previously- but had never got involved- but with everything going on, this exercise seemed to call out to me in one way or another. So I'm joining in with Kat at kateyestudio.com and her photo-heart-connection.

Photo heart connection is all about reviewing your photo graphs and  finding one that speaks most to your heart and connects with it. 

 For the first photograph of the year, looking back to December brought many mixed emotions. You all know by now, that it was a very bitter sweet Christmas for me-Being at home with the family was lovely- but also at times I just wanted to selfishly run away from everything that was going on. Being able to come back here to Asia- does feel like running away, burying my head in the sand and carrying on as things aren't happening- But realistically this brings a whole load of guilt with it.

You can all probably guess the photo that showed the most Photo - heart connection- yes- one of my dad- But really this isn't so much about my dad- but actually about my mum and how she's the one that is having to deal with it all.

This was boxing day and for a change the wind wasn't blowing a gale- nor was it raining. We actually managed to get Dad outside, and with a bit of pushing and shoving over the door step, down a make shift ramp and out onto the road. Luckily we live in the middle of no where- with quiet farm roads and fields all around- so a for a stroll we went. This was the first time Dad had been outside for about 3 weeks- not being mobile at all makes it very difficult for him to do anything- and with just my mum to help him- she finds it physically difficult.

But we did it- Dad and I went up the road, up the hill and along to the farm and back- stopping to admire the view, listen to the wind in the trees and watch the hawk flying overhead. We stopped and had a chat with the farmer and looked in the small wood, to see if we could see a tree we had planted a few years earlier. The wind was fresh on our faces and our fingers were tingling- but we managed- and I think dad enjoyed.

He found it difficult to remember later that we had been out- but with a few prompts he did remember some of it. - But he was smiling when we came back in from the cold:)

Yes, it is heartbreaking to see my dad, who only just turned 70 this year, deteriorate so quickly.

It's hard because we don't really know why.

We know he's had some cerebral bleeding- and he was found to have a benign tumour- but to be immobile and to have lost much of your short term memory must be a very frustrating and puzzling time for him.

It's no wonder my mum is frazzled.

 So you see, going back to help her out and spend time with my dad, is the decision I have made.

Because no matter what- the rest of the world will always be out there-

 but my family won't always be.

Until next time,

Amanda x